Obi-Wan Kenobi (
larger_world) wrote2021-05-05 07:41 pm
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Though Obi-Wan knows better than the refer to what they're doing as hiking out loud, this morning, he and Klaus had left Darrow with comfortable shoes and bags to hold some food and water, and they'd walked out into the woods with the intention of finding a new place to meditate. It had been Obi-Wan's idea, wanting to expose Klaus to different places with different distractions so he could continue to evolve his practice and learn how to focus when other sounds or feelings were doing their best to pull him away.
It makes him smile to himself, the fact that he's convinced Klaus to go on a hike, of all things, to find a new place to meditate, of all things.
But as they walk through the woods, Obi-Wan's smile fades into something more serene. The trees grow closer together out here, the sounds of the city are very far away, and he almost feels as if he's back on Naboo, surrounded by the lush greenery of the planet. The leaves drip occasionally, water having collected on them, and every so often he can hear the sound of an animal moving somewhere off in the bush, possibly a deer at one point, then something smaller, maybe a rabbit or a badger.
"It's lovely out here, isn't it?" he asks as they crest a small rise. The sun has been up for hours, because while they started out in the morning, Obi-Wan had known better than to try and get Klaus out of the apartment too early. It's warm, the air is fresh, and he turns back to look over his shoulder, smiling as Klaus joins him.
It makes him smile to himself, the fact that he's convinced Klaus to go on a hike, of all things, to find a new place to meditate, of all things.
But as they walk through the woods, Obi-Wan's smile fades into something more serene. The trees grow closer together out here, the sounds of the city are very far away, and he almost feels as if he's back on Naboo, surrounded by the lush greenery of the planet. The leaves drip occasionally, water having collected on them, and every so often he can hear the sound of an animal moving somewhere off in the bush, possibly a deer at one point, then something smaller, maybe a rabbit or a badger.
"It's lovely out here, isn't it?" he asks as they crest a small rise. The sun has been up for hours, because while they started out in the morning, Obi-Wan had known better than to try and get Klaus out of the apartment too early. It's warm, the air is fresh, and he turns back to look over his shoulder, smiling as Klaus joins him.
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"And here I thought art was meant to be put on display," he drawls out, smirking a bit as he gently tweaks Obi-Wan's nipple. "Should I find something to preserve your modesty? A fig leaf, perhaps?"
He laughs again and taps Obi-Wan's nose with the tip of his finger before flopping onto his back again, wriggling his shoulders as he settles into a prime nap position. "I'll put on my underwear, but you have to get it. I'm not moving from this spot for at least an hour."
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Both lying on their back now, Obi-Wan can feel the contentment they settle into, the peace that seems to drop over them like a blanket, and his eyes close. He's breathing steadily, not asleep, but shifting into a more meditative state, feeling his muscles relax, almost as if they're melting into the blanket below him. His body feels as if it's part of the earth, part of the dirt and the trees and the animals that move about around them. Obi-Wan sinks into the Force with them, feeling their lives, their movement, feeling as if he's one with everything.
Funny, he thinks, that having rather incredible sex with someone he loves is what helps him drop into some of the deepest meditative states he's ever been able to achieve.
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After their vigorous work out in the pond, and with the warm arm blanketing him and drying the water from his body, Klaus falls into a doze rather easily. This is something else that Obi-Wan helps him with-- he always falls asleep easier when he's next to Obi-Wan, where he feels safest.
There was a time not long ago where he would have never fallen asleep out in the open, not while sober at least, but now he doesn't think twice about it. He just holds onto Obi-Wan's hand and tips his face toward the other man, letting his eyes slip shut as he dozes off.
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With his hands upon his knees, sitting cross legged beside Klaus, Obi-Wan seeks out the man who is no longer there. Who hasn't been for a very long time now and yet whose guidance Obi-Wan still craves. Qui-Gon had been the perfect Master for Obi-Wan, rebellious, questioning, deeply clever, and Obi-Wan learns from him even now, recalling lessons he perhaps hadn't quite understood as a Padawan.
When he speaks aloud, he doesn't even realize he's doing so, so deep in his meditative state.
"You always said I would make a good Master, Qui-Gon," he begins, his voice soft, but not unintelligible. "I don't know that I've lived up to your expectations, but I would like to think, if nothing else, I've become a decent teacher. There's a part of me that wishes to pursue this, the art of teaching others, although I find myself floundering when it comes to what I might teach. My qualifications are hardly reflected within the educational system of Darrow."
He pauses, an amused smile touching his lips. "No one even knows of the Jedi Order, Qui-Gon. I think you'd delight in that."
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He smiles and then stretches out a little, reaching out to put his hand on Obi-Wan's back, smoothing it up and down his spine before dragging his fingertip slowly down the base of it.
"I think that you're a very good teacher," he says quietly, voice a little raspy from sleep. "I'm evidence enough of that, aren't I?"
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Perhaps it's merely Darrow that keeps them apart. Perhaps it's something more. He can't know.
After a moment he opens his eyes and looks over at Klaus. "I can't imagine there are many people here looking to learn how to meditate," he says. "Certainly not enough that I might be able to consider it as a career, but there isn't much else I would be qualified to teach the way I understand education to work here. I'm hardly going to arrive at the university in a pair of spectacles and a corduroy jacket and be allowed to take on a class."
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"Oh, I don't know about that." He sits up and stretches his arms over his head before scooting closer to Obi-Wan. "Where I'm from, people paid good money to go on meditation retreats. Being a teacher doesn't just mean standing in front of a classroom."
Klaus hooks his chin over Obi-Wan's shoulder and murmurs playfully in his ear. "But I would like to see the jacket and spectacles."
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It isn't the money that concerns him, but the sense of purpose. Or, in his case, the lack thereof.
"I'm just used to having something to do," he admits. "A goal. A... well, a calling, I suppose. And while I would much rather remain here in a world without war, there is a part of me that feels adrift in some ways. Anakin no longer needs my training and there are very few other Jedi here in Darrow. I can't imagine Rey or Ben being especially interested in traditional Jedi training regardless of their abilities."
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Klaus has always been sort of aimless. When he was young, he had a purpose, but it wasn't one that he chose for himself. He broke free as soon as he could, and then just drifted for the better part of two decades.
"I think you could teach a meditation class. Maybe yoga. You're very bendy," Klaus tells him, smiling as he presses a kiss to Obi's shoulder. "I'm sure there are lots of people here who could benefit from learning what you've taught me. And I'm not just saying that because I'd love to see you in a pair of yoga pants."
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"I probably ought to take a class or two of my own before trying to teach it," he continues. "Meditation, however..." Klaus is right and Obi-Wan realizes he's been resisting the possibility unconsciously, without even understanding he was doing it.
He's quiet, his smile growing thoughtful, even a little embarrassed as he meets Klaus's gaze. "I think I'm afraid," he admits. "I've meditated on it and I've spoken of it with Anakin, with Ben, but when it comes down to actively leaving behind this part of my life that has been so much of who I am for as long as I can remember... I know it's the right thing to do, but I'm afraid."
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What he admits doesn't exactly surprise Klaus, and he takes a moment to figure out a response, breathing in deeply as he reaches up to cup the side of Obi's neck.
"That makes sense," Klaus assures him. "A part of me was afraid to leave the Umbrella Academy, even after all I went through there. It was still a part of me, still who I was molded to be, even if I didn't quite believe in. So, of course it would be hard for you, considering that you devoted your life to it."
Klaus trails his fingers through the silvery hair at Obi-Wan's temple, still a little damp from the water as he tucks it behind his ear. "Maybe you can take some of the good parts and make something all your own. Something that can help people. Like you've helped me."
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With Satine, they had come to a decision together, they had both had responsibilities they needed to focus on and they had decided together what was best, no matter how much it had hurt. And from there on, Obi-Wan's focus had been becoming the best possible Jedi he could, dedicating himself to the Force, to peace keeping, to learning from his Master and then training his Padawan. But the Jedi Order had rules and Obi-Wan's interpretation of them hadn't always been the same as the rest of the Council would have liked, had they known.
"If only all my Force sensitive compatriots weren't so resistant to the idea of training," he says, though he's teasing. He and Anakin have agreed to no longer be Master and Padawan, but he's never truly approached the subject of training with Rey or Ben. Still, he has to imagine they're not going to want to follow a traditional route. "I suppose I will have to branch out after all."
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He pulls back a bit and gives Obi-Wan a very innocent look. "For no reason that I've noticed."
Grinning, he reaches out to tickle Obi-Wan's side, leaning to press a kiss to his scruffy cheek. His lips linger there, and he nudges his nose against Obi-Wan's cheekbone before pulling back again. "You'll find something important," Klaus says sincerely. "And you'll be great at it. I have absolutely no doubt of this, Obi."
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He hopes Klaus is right, though, that he'll find the thing he's meant to do here in Darrow. It isn't always as easy as just knowing what that right thing is and he knows Klaus understands that well. The way Klaus speaks to him, though, sooths something inside of him and he smiles faintly, then leans over to press a kiss to Klaus's cheek.
"Perhaps I can arrange to wear yoga pants just for you," he teases.
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Obi-Wan leans over to kiss him and Klaus smiles to himself, pleased to have said something helpful. Or at least something that eased Obi-Wan's worry, if even for a little while. He does truly believe that Obi-Wan will do something special, and he'll be there to help however he can.
"Mm, and will you do downward facing dog while I watch?" Klaus asks, looping his arms around Obi-Wan's waist to pull the man into his lap. Usually they're switched in this position, but Obi-Wan deserves to be held, and to feel as cherished as he makes Klaus feel all the time. "You would be the most popular yoga instructor in town, I think."
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"Maybe I'll take some classes," he decides after a moment. "Would you like to take them with me? Then you can watch me do downward facing dog in public?"
He's unaware of all the names of the yoga positions, but he's learned that one simply from watching television in his apartment now and then. It looks like a wonderful stretch, but there are often jokes made about it on the sitcoms he's stopped on once in awhile.
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He chuckles softly and nips at Obi-Wan's earlobe before nosing behind it. Birds are chirping somewhere overhead and a breeze is rustling gently though the trees, cooling their skin, and Klaus lets out a content sigh as he gives Obi-Wan a little squeeze. He feels so at peace, so happy, and he never really wants it to end.
"Want to help me get some meditation practice in?" He asks after awhile, pulling back to smile at him. "I'm feeling in the right headspace for it."
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"Yes, I would like that very much," he says when they part and he lays his hands upon his knees. "Would you like me to guide you again or do you think you'd prefer to do it on your own this time?"
Obi-Wan is more than happy to do whatever works best for Klaus. He's the one still learning, after all, still adjusting to this new practice.
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Obi-Wan pulls back and Klaus's eyes flutter open, watching Obi as he straightens up. Klaus mirrors his position-- legs crossed, hands on his knees, and he nods as he adjusts his posture to sit up a little straighter.
"I'd like you to guide me, please." He's getting okay at it on his own, and while he's trying not to push himself, he does wonder if maybe Obi-Wan being with him may help him better understand his newfound levitation abilities.
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"Start with your eyes open," he says in a slow, even voice. "Settle into your position, make sure you're comfortable and if you need to, stretch out any kinks, anywhere you feel you're not quite relaxed. Take a deep breath in through your nose, then out through your mouth."
He does the same, inhaling and exhaling. "Feel the breath," he advises gently. "Feel it in your nose or your throat, in your chest or stomach. Wherever you're feeling it, focus there and allow yourself to sink into that sensation."
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His chest expands which breath, low near his diaphragm, and he focuses on that sensation. Slow expansion, slow contraction, over and over again. His shoulders feel tense and he takes another breath and does his best to let them relax on the next exhale, letting himself feel as if he is sinking into the ground.
"Okay," he says after a moment, nodding slowly as he lifts his chin a bit. "Okay."
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For a beat, he's silent, allowing them both time to settle into their breath.
"Don't worry about thinking about anything in particular," he says. "If your mind wanders, be aware, gently guide it back to your breath, but don't berate yourself for it. It's only natural, our minds are wild and wonderful places and we have many fascinating thoughts. Just bring yourself back with kindness, with gentleness."
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As he breathes, Klaus does as Obi-Wan says. He focuses on one sound and then the next, acknowledging each one. He comes back to Obi-Wan's voice every time, and when he feels the darkness of his power start to creep into his mind, he does not get scared and panic. He takes a breath and nudges it away with gentleness, easing it back until he feels quieted once more.
The water, the wind, the leaves, his breath, Obi-Wan's voice. A distant scream, a deep breath, and then back to Obi-Wan's voice, breathing in and out. He lets out a low hum, shoulders relaxing further as he tips his chin up into a gentle breeze that ruffles his hair.
"I feel light," he murmurs after awhile, pausing to examine the feeling. "A weightlessness, almost. Maybe that's the source of it."
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He can sense Klaus's weightlessness, though, almost as if it's a tangible thing. Even in the short time they've been practicing, Klaus has been moving deeper and deeper into the meditative state, sometimes without Obi-Wan's help, and he truly couldn't be prouder of the progress Klaus has made. He's dedicated to the practice, dedicated to finding a way to learn to live with his abilities.
Obi-Wan breathes in silence for several rounds, allowing them both the space to settle in deeper. Then he opens his eyes, his gaze soft, and find himself looking not at Klaus's face, but instead the tattoo on his stomach, because Klaus is no longer on the ground.
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Slowly, he opens his eyes and looks around, trying to stay focused so that he doesn't fall. He dips his gaze to see Obi-Wan looking up at him and smiles softly. This time, he stays in the air and straightens his spine a little, looking around at the trees and over the water as he takes another breath.
"I wonder if I can figure out how to get down," he says slowly. There must be a way, but as soon as he thinks about it, he falls down to the blanket again, laughing as he makes contact with the soft earth. "Well, that's one way, I guess."
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