Obi-Wan Kenobi (
larger_world) wrote2020-08-18 02:32 pm
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While Obi-Wan is under the assumption Padmé is well aware of Anakin's intention of telling him about their relationship, he still thinks it wise to speak with her about it on his own. After all, he and Padmé have long had their own friendship, first developed on Tattooine and then later, after she became Senator and they often conferred on issues during the Separatist War.
The revelation of their relationship hadn't surprised Obi-Wan. He well remembers Rex trying to keep him away while Anakin had what he thought were secret calls with her and further to the point, he's arrived in Darrow from a much later point in time than the both of them. He had known, beyond all doubt, that Padmé's child was Anakin's as well, a fact that has been well supported since arriving here and having met their grandson.
He hadn't intended on seeking her out, but as often happens, the Force has apparently made the decision for him and has drawn Obi-Wan to a place in the city where he suddenly senses Padmé nearby. He's dressed to blend in these days, his clothes light and loose, but proper pants and a shirt rather than robes. It's the lightsaber at his belt that still makes him stand apart, but even so, he approaches Padmé slowly, so she might see him before he's directly upon her.
"Hello, Senator," he says with a smile when he's near enough. "And how are you this afternoon?"
The revelation of their relationship hadn't surprised Obi-Wan. He well remembers Rex trying to keep him away while Anakin had what he thought were secret calls with her and further to the point, he's arrived in Darrow from a much later point in time than the both of them. He had known, beyond all doubt, that Padmé's child was Anakin's as well, a fact that has been well supported since arriving here and having met their grandson.
He hadn't intended on seeking her out, but as often happens, the Force has apparently made the decision for him and has drawn Obi-Wan to a place in the city where he suddenly senses Padmé nearby. He's dressed to blend in these days, his clothes light and loose, but proper pants and a shirt rather than robes. It's the lightsaber at his belt that still makes him stand apart, but even so, he approaches Padmé slowly, so she might see him before he's directly upon her.
"Hello, Senator," he says with a smile when he's near enough. "And how are you this afternoon?"
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She's sitting outside a cafe, drinking some sort of frozen blended beverage that's apparently quite popular in Darrow, and smiles up at him when he speaks.
"I'm doing quite well," she says. "And it's Padmé, Obi-Wan, honestly, how long have we been friends?"
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"I believe congratulations are in order," he adds. "Though I'm a few years late."
He had known of their relationship -- suspected, technically, though he'd felt almost certain -- and yet hadn't known the entire extent of it.
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"Thank you," she says, and means it, then adds, more lightly, "About three years late, actually, but don't worry - you're still the first to say it."
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He sits only after she indicates he can, then smiles, the expression a touch playful.
"I must admit I had some suspicions," he tells her. "Anakin was never as good a liar as he liked to believe and Captain Rex always tried a little too hard to keep me out of the way at certain times."
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"I feel like I ought to thank you for admitting as much," she says cheerfully. "I don't often get to see Anakin looking so completely flummoxed."
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Obi-Wan is well aware there is much unsteadiness in Anakin, that his doubts and his fears took him down a path from which he fears there is no return, but the man here in Darrow, the one who has told him about his marriage to Padmé is not that same man. And now Obi-Wan has hope.
"I rather wish Rex were here so that I might see his expression as well," he admits. It's safer than admitting he wishes he could see Cody again, properly Cody, the man who had been his friend as well as his trusted military confidante.
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"Apparently I owe Rex a thank-you or two," she adds lightly. She hadn't known he'd been covering for them, but it does explain a few things. "I'll have to remember that, if I ever see him again."
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He believes in her. She had always been strong and she was well trained, but Rex was strong, too. As was his entire squadron.
"We might need to tread lightly there," he admits. "With Rex and the others, should we see them again."
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"Ah," she says softly. They don't, as far as she knows, know what caused the clones to change sides. They don't know what might trigger it again. "Yes, you're right. That... I suppose it hadn't occurred to me."
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Obi-Wan doesn't know what he believes. Had he tried harder to get Anakin to talk to him instead of doing what he thought was right in respecting his emotional boundaries, perhaps the outcome could have been different. If he had been more honest, maybe, or advocated harder for his Padawan. There are so many things he knows he can regret, but he tries not to. It isn't the Jedi way and he believes, with utter conviction, Anakin's life will be different here.
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"He's a Jedi, I'm - I was - a Senator. There are rules about that, back home." If she has opinions on the stupidity of those rules, she has too much respect for Obi-Wan to let them show, and just gives a rueful little shrug - what can you do - before continuing. "It is nice, though. Being able to be open about it here."
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No more lies, no omission. Not when he knows where that path leads.
"Would it have broken my heart?" he asks, then smiles a little. "Of course. But better mine than yours and it isn't as if I hadn't once been willing to leave the order for a very similar chance."
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She very carefully files this conversation alongside the memory, from her very first day in Darrow, of the way Obi-Wan had hesitated before he'd told her about the future, the sure and certain knowledge that he was about to not tell her something. There's context here that she's missing, but she doesn't have enough information to see the shape of it yet. Which is fine. For now, she can wait.
"Didn't he," she says, less a question than it ought to be. It's an old argument, one she's had with herself more times than she can count in the past three years. "Can you picture him being happy doing anything else? Can you picture him sitting out the war? And I can't imagine the Jedi would have been thrilled by the idea of their chosen one walking away from them."
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He pauses and breathes in deep, then exhales slowly, centering himself. The world they knew is gone. One way or another. Either they're here in this new place or they're there, hiding from an Emperor, considered enemies of the Empire. Or worse, in Padmé's case. And in Anakin's.
"The prophecies were never meant to be taken literally," he says. "Qui-Gon may have believed otherwise, but it is matter he and I clashed on many times. Whatever else Anakin may or may not be, he is an individual first, and as to whether or not the Jedi would be happy with him leaving, such things no longer matter. I cannot speak for anything but the moment in which we find ourselves now. There is no Jedi Order. Not any longer."
He and Anakin are the last. Rey and Ben, he can't imagine they want to be what the Order would have expected of them anyway. Should they want to learn, Obi-Wan will be happy to teach them, but it will be an entirely different task than what it might have once been.
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"I can't imagine how we thought we were going to keep hiding it with children on the way," she adds lightly. "We're not that sneaky."
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However, he also believes -- and always has -- that there is a deep well of difference between possessiveness and the sort of love that exists between two people. He had warned Anakin against pursuing anything with Padmé, not entirely aware of how far it had already gone, but he knows more now. He knows better. What he has to do now is not try to keep Anakin in the Order, but instead continue to teach him what it means to love without wanting to control all possible outcomes. Even if their world were the same, with the benefit of hindsight, Obi-Wan knows his reaction would be different.
At Padmé's comment, Obi-Wan breathes out a soft laugh, looking down at his hands. "Well, perhaps a bit of foresight was lacking in that moment, yes," he agrees. "But love can be rather all-encompassing, can't it?"
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"You sound like you're speaking from experience," she adds. That's twice in this one conversation that he's alluded to having been in love before, so she thinks it's alright to pry a bit.
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"You knew Satine," he says. "She and I met when I was still a Padawan and we... she and I..." He smiles faintly, uncharacteristically without the proper words to encompass what they shared. "I wish I would have thought to talk to Anakin of it. Perhaps he might better understand the choices we make and the regrets we hold, even when we're trained not to."
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"I'm so sorry," she says softly, reaching across the table to lay her hand over his. "Satine was... she was a lovely woman."
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"It's why I could never have asked her to leave with me," he says. "Though to this day I wish I had."